Pages not Rendering Properly?
Home
About me
Contact Me
Porcelain Pictures
Services
Projects
Articles
Getting
Started With Linux
Reviews
Dispute Archives
Page Archives
Terms and
conditons of webhosting
Links
Sitemap
Search Benscomputer.no-ip.org
Copyright Information
|
Being
British...
I don't normally
like
chain mail but I thought this one was good enough to post online.
- Being British is
about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a beer, then
travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on
Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese
TV
- And
the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign!
Oh and.....
- Only in Britain...
can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- Only
in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
- Only
in
Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
- Only
in
Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
-
Only
in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
- Only
in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.
- Only
in
Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink
NOT TO MENTION...
- 3 Brits die each
year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
- 142
Brits
were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
- 58
Brits
are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
- 31
Brits
have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy
lights were plugged in
- 19
Brits
have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were
chocolate
- British
Hospitals reported 4 bro ken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.
- 101
people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet
- 18
Brits
had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette
in their mouth
- A
massive
543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening
bottles of beer with their teeth
- 5
Brits
were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric
cars
and finally.........
- In 2000, 8 Brits
cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet
I am proud to be British
|